Back to the Basics Without the Guilt, Doubts, and Self-Criticisms!

One important reason I decided to start this blog is because of the many stories I've heard from moms who think they aren't good enough. And yes, I have been there! There have been times I've thought that every other mom at the park had it WAY more together than I did. But I'm happy to say that I'm feeling MUCH better about mommyhood now.

I realized that every mother is different, and we just have to learn to accept ourselves. You have to be yourself and celebrate what you like doing and what works for YOU. For me, as a new mom, it was a huge new role that I didn't feel I quite understood. Was I bad mom b/c I don't LIKE sitting in a huge sand pit with toddlers? Was I bad mom b/c I need some quiet time alone each day? Could I balance protecting my child against growing her into an independent woman? Did I need a new mommy wardrobe? Everyone has different likes and dislikes, and I found I just needed to incorporate those things into day-to-day life and let the rest go.

Balance is really important and everyone talks about it. For me, being a part-time library consultant and a part-time stay-at-home mom is the right balance for me at this time in my life. When darling daughter is in school that might change. At this point, I would go insane if I were a full time stay-at-home mom and I would go insane if I worked full-time. With a little of each, I appreciate my child and my work a lot more. For another woman, another balance is best, and that is what is right for her. This whole debate about working or not working as a mother just demeans us, not just as women but as basic people. And sometimes, of course, there is no choice about whether we can decide to not work--bills have to paid. But an unhappy mother, unfulfilled mother doesn't help a family.

There are some parts of motherhood I feel I'm really good at, and other parts that I am still striving towards. And there are some times that I have to rely on others to fulfill my dauthter's needs.

Most mothers do the best they can, and I really feel that by trying to keep the basics in mind, we can have the balance we need. Focusing on love, health, fun, learning, and on how we can help our children become the best people they can...that's Mommy Basics for me.